Well, it's taken me some time to get my thoughts together and plan "what's next". I am so very, very disappointed about Chicago. I do think it was absolutely the right thing to cancel it, but am so sad that it had to get to that point. We won't even talk about the denials and failure to even say "we're sorry" after the fact by the race "organizers".
I felt like I had a marathon in me -- albeit a walking one. But I must say, it was pretty lonely in the back of the pack on that Sunday. I was doing fine, staying hydrated and walking a pretty good pace, but dang if they weren't pulling the course up right in front of me. I only hit the 5K step off pad -- all others were gone before I got there. Most of the mile markers were down and I was worried I was going to be swept up by the street sweepers. I made it to mile 13 before the race was called. So all of that made me realize that I really had no business out there unless I could meet the minimum time requirement -- with a little margin. It's ironic that I decided to start with the race start rather than leave early as I wanted an "official time". Joke was on me on that one! I truly believe if I had started with those folks who went early that I would have finished. I am so proud of Onetta, Lisa, Amy and anyone else who left early and finished the whole course. What a great accomplishment!
So now I have this unmet goal and, believe me, I am goal oriented and I am conflicted. I feel so bad that I didn't finish but I just cannot continue on a Marathon path at this time. Between work, family and the holidays coming up I cannot bring myself to spend the long Saturdays I need to in order to really be ready for a marathon. I don't want to right now.
I am very happy with all that I have accomplished since January. I know I could have done more, but as I put on my marathon shirt DLF>DNF>>DNS (DEAD LAST FINISH (I think I was on course for that!) is greater than DID NOT FINISH (oops, that's where I ended up) greatly trumps DID NOT START). Mark's blog reminded me of the real goal -- to get to the starting line -- and I at least did that.
I do want to keep working on my fitness and pledge to not "back slide". I have done my morning walks last week and this week and even did a brisk 6 miles on Saturday. I am determined to be able to actually run, but with a goal of short distances for now. When I get to the point where I can actually run a 10K -- all the way -- then I'll entertain the idea of training again for a marathon. I will not do it if I can't get to the point where I can at least maintain a pace that will assure that the course remains open while I'm on it, and that will require some running on my part.
Like others who have blogged recently, I, too plan on checking in on the group and supporting everyone whenever I can. I'm always ready to party, so if you need a party place, just let me know!
Speaking of parties, don't forget about the Halloween party at our house Saturday, October 27th. I hope to see you there!
